Where Are You Going?

One day, Chan Master Dongshan went to visit a gravely ill student monk named Dezhao. Dezhao pleaded with him, "Master! Why won't you show compassion and save a disciple who has sincerely pursued the Way? Can you bear to watch me die without any understanding?"

Master Dongshan asked, "Whose child are you?"

Dezhao replied, "I am the child of an icchantika" — one said to lack Buddha-nature.

Master Dongshan fell silent, his gaze fixed on Dezhao.

Dezhao grew anxious. "When mountains close in from all four sides, Master — what am I to do?"

Master Dongshan said, "I too once passed beneath another's eaves."

Dezhao said, "If that's so, and you and I meet beneath those eaves, tell me, Master — should we step aside for each other, or not?"

Master Dongshan said, "Don't step aside."

Dezhao pressed on. "If we don't step aside, then where would you have me go?"

Master Dongshan pointed the way: "The five realms and six paths, the ten dharma realms — roads are everywhere. Why worry? If your mind still isn't at ease, then go to a freshly cleared field and plant some grain."

Upon hearing this, Dezhao said simply, "Master, please take care." Then his whole body went slack and he sat there motionless — the young monk had entered nirvana right after those final words.

Master Dongshan shook his staff three times before him and said, "You can leave like this, but you cannot return like this."

The young Chan monk Dezhao, nearing the end of his days and confined to his sickbed, never stopped seeking a way beyond birth and death. As he himself asked: when aging, illness, and death close in, what is one to do? Master Dongshan told him that roads are everywhere — yet not everyone can find the right one. Clearing land and planting grain: that is the real work a practitioner of the Way should attend to. Dezhao entered nirvana at peace, showing he had indeed found his way out. But Master Dongshan said he could leave like that but not return like that — so even for a Chan practitioner, coming and going in freedom is no easy thing.