A Practitioner's Meditation Journey in Myanmar

1. Faith: This cannot be overstated. Before you begin practice, you must thoroughly understand the teachings, uproot every doubt from your heart, and then place complete, unwavering faith in them. These three steps are inseparable—only through deep, thorough understanding can doubt fall away and genuine faith arise. That faith will become your greatest ally in practice. No matter how daunting the obstacles, it will keep you walking the path without giving up.

Have faith not only in the Dharma, but in your teacher—and most of all, in yourself.

See appendix: Meditation Story 1 — "Learning to Trust"

2. Practice: Once you've truly understood and placed complete faith in the fact that Vipassana meditation can lead you to liberation, the most important thing is simply to do it—to practice. No matter how well you know the Buddhist texts or how deeply you believe in the Dharma, without actual practice, it all remains a castle in the air.

Practice is both cause and result. Every benefit of the Dharma is contained in the act of practicing. Don't anticipate results—just steadily do your walking meditation, your sitting meditation. Cultivate awareness step by step. Observe the rise and fall of your abdomen, one sitting at a time. Even when thoughts are spinning wildly, even when drowsiness sets in or your legs ache—it doesn't matter. As long as you're practicing, you're progressing. Most of the time you won't feel it, but when the practice accumulates to a certain point, quantity becomes quality, and you'll genuinely experience the benefits of the Dharma. That joy is sweeter than any worldly pleasure. Once you taste the joy of the Dharma, an unshakable faith will arise—and you'll never need any external motivation again.

I think: if someone as dull as me, as lost in scattered thoughts as me, as lacking in perseverance as me, as plagued by aching legs and back as me—if I could keep going all the way through, why can't you? I hope my own experience gives others supreme confidence to walk the path of liberation with unwavering resolve.

People sometimes ask me: how could you go a whole month without speaking, wake up so early every morning, and sustain such long hours of intensive practice? The truth is, before every retreat I also had to summon great resolve, and I worried I wouldn't be able to handle it. But after thoroughly understanding and placing complete faith in the Dharma, I told myself: I've been sinking and floundering in afflictions for all these years—why wouldn't I be willing to spend a single month deeply experiencing this method? I had to try. Only by trying would I know. Actually, we're making choices all the time, aren't we?

To practice means life is no longer passive. Practice fills our lives with infinite possibility. The following scripture had a profound impact on me, and I hope it resonates with everyone drawn to genuine practice:

"Master Gotama, what is the cause and condition by which, after the Tathagata's passing, the holy teaching does not endure? And what is the cause and condition by which, after the Tathagata's passing, the holy teaching does endure?"

"Brahmin, it is through not practicing, through not cultivating the four establishments of mindfulness extensively, that after the Tathagata's passing, the holy teaching does not endure…" (Saṃyutta Nikāya)

3. Releasing Yourself — Loving-Kindness Meditation

The four immeasurables of the Dharma are loving-kindness, compassion, sympathetic joy, and equanimity—with loving-kindness coming first. Loving-kindness softens body and mind, nurtures gratitude and appreciation, and moves us to treat everyone around us with kindness. It lets us feel our connection to all things; it softens the heart. When we can let go of resentment, learn to forgive, and open our hearts, what we're really doing is freeing ourselves. Practicing loving-kindness meditation during this retreat benefited me enormously—it freed me from jealousy, enabled me to genuinely rejoice in others' good fortune, and released me.

Loving-kindness meditation also changed my daily life. When I returned home, I found that my attitude toward every person and every situation had completely shifted. I no longer met everything with hostility and complaint; I could approach things with greater tolerance. I could see more dimensions with compassion—every person's suffering, the impermanence in every event—deeply sensing the struggles and limitations we all carry. This allowed me to accept and face everything with calmness.

See appendix: Meditation Story 2 — "Loving-Kindness Meditation"

4. Recommended Books:

• Insight Meditation by William Hart
• In This Very Life by Venerable Sayadaw U Pandita
• Body Contemplation Insight Meditation Method by Ajahn Naeb
• The Truth of This World by Ajahn Chah
• About This Mind by Ajahn Chah

5. Related Links:

Short-term Monastic Ordination Registration Blog: Yile Fanxing — http://blog.sina.com.cn/yilefanxing

Venerable Longzang's Blog: http://blog.163.com/longzangfashi@126/

Chanmyay Meditation Center:

http://www.chanmyay.org/

Meditation Stories

A. Learning to Trust

By the third week of the retreat, seeing how mindfully my fellow practitioners were practicing—seeing others sit for two hours straight when I often struggled to last even one—hearing during interviews how much bodily and mental change the others could perceive, I began to doubt myself more and more. I believed deeply in the Dharma, but I doubted myself just as deeply. Maybe I was too dull. Maybe my mind was too scattered. Maybe I would never make any real progress.

In the grip of that despair, I wandered aimlessly around the monastery that night, completely without mindfulness. I decided I would confess my true feelings to my teacher at the next day's interview. I told him: "I've been meditating for over ten days now, but the only thing I feel is the ground moving. I feel like I've made no progress at all." My teacher looked at me with compassion and said, "You're practicing very well. Feeling the ground move—that's a very deep experience of the Dharma. Don't be discouraged. Keep going."

After the interview, turning his words over in my mind, I started doubting again. He says that to everyone. It can't be true. He's just comforting me. I must be truly awful. And so I sank back into dejection for another whole day.

When my spirits had hit rock bottom, a thought suddenly came to me: Why am I unwilling to believe my teacher's words? Why do I have to tear myself down like this? Why let myself be so dejected? No—I choose to believe my teacher. He's someone of deep cultivation; he wouldn't lie to me. Yes, I really am doing well. I've been so diligent all along. And with that, I regained my confidence and continued practicing with renewed energy.

Learn to trust: trust others, but most of all, trust yourself.

B. Loving-Kindness Meditation

Venerable Longzang has profound cultivation and could see my problem at a glance. He compassionately told me that my wisdom was blunt, my mind coarse—so my body and mind were rigid, unable to perceive subtler levels of experience. That was why I needed to practice loving-kindness meditation, to soften my heart. When the heart softens, the body softens too—body and mind are one.

I began radiating loving-kindness toward myself during walking meditation. Even though I felt nothing at the time, I knew my teacher was absolutely right. A hard heart and a stubborn mouth had always been my problem—in daily life, even when I knew I was wrong, I'd refuse to admit it. (My loving-kindness phrase: May I be free from suffering, free from danger, free from hatred. May I be filled with loving-kindness, peaceful and at ease.)

One evening during walking meditation, I suddenly thought of a close friend I'd been jealous of for years. Though we'd always been good friends, her excellence always made me feel inadequate. When she came to mind, I felt a powerful wave of long-suppressed anger surge up—so intense, so ugly. I didn't try to run from it. I simply observed the jealousy exactly as it was. I could feel my heart twisting in pain, my body rigid and tight. I watched the anger swell stronger and stronger, like a flood about to swallow me. And then a strong inner voice said: No. I don't want this anymore. It hurts too much. I never want to be jealous of anyone like this again. I want to be filled with loving-kindness. So I began radiating loving-kindness to her, loudly and clearly in my heart: May she be free from suffering, free from danger, free from all illness of body and mind. May she be happy and fulfilled... As I kept repeating these phrases, I felt my heart growing softer and softer, stronger and stronger. I saw her gentleness, her wisdom, her excellence. The reason I'd been jealous of her was that she genuinely possessed qualities I couldn't match. In that moment, I felt my heart finally open. With a heart full of love, I sincerely appreciated her strengths and blessed her from the bottom of my soul. In that moment, an incomparable joy and warmth filled my heart. In that moment, I deeply understood the happiness of letting go of hatred, of sincerely blessing others, of rejoicing in their good qualities.

After that, whenever I noticed jealousy or dissatisfaction arising, I would immediately radiate loving-kindness toward that person—until I felt my heart fill with warmth and strength, until I could sincerely wish them well with a heart full of love.

The Buddha once said: Do not give way to hatred. Hatred harms your own mind. Yes—the Buddha speaks truth, speaks what is real, and never speaks falsehood.

May I share these meditation insights with all who seek liberation.

May all who read this generate faith and walk the path of liberation with courage and fearlessness.

May all beings be free from suffering and find happiness. May the Dharma spread and benefit all.

May the Dharma endure in the world!

Sadhu! Sadhu! Sadhu!

Reposted from http://blog.sina.com.cn/u/1839196055

by Youyou Woxin